a civil twilight
by thelittlefanpire
Summary: "It's funny how your deepest fears can be your deepest desires, too," the words fall from Clarke's lips, but it's not Clarke who speaks them. The voice is airy and lighter than Clarke's normal cadence. A 6x10 Bellarke/Jobriel Poly AU. Written for the Canon Divergence Round of the Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge.


_Written for Round 1: Canon Divergence of the Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge!_

_Tropes this round are:  
1\. Someone lives/dies that didn't in canon.  
2\. Protectiveness  
3\. Sunsets  
4\. A Dichotomy_

_It's Canon Divergence so I'm changing some Canon rules to make this work. Josephine Lives, think Sense8! But don't think too hard about the SciFi...I don't know what I'm talking about. Also, some understanding of S6 might be helpful, but not necessary to enjoy!_

* * *

**a civil twilight **

The first thing Clarke can make out is the faint beep of the machine beside her body. It's muffled like she's underwater or standing behind a barrier. It's getting harder for her to stay awake in her own mind as her brain deteriorates from sharing the space with Josephine.

"Two wavelengths, one brain," an unfamiliar voice says above her. Clarke's eyes pop open and her heartbeat speeds up involuntarily.

Gabriel, Josephine thinks. Clarke struggles to see him through the haze. It's not the same man in her memories, but Josephine recognizes him anyway. His dark figure is shrouded in the clothes of the Children of Gabriel. He's handsome with broad shoulders and her eyes are drawn to a peculiar spot of gray in his short cut curls. He gives Josephine a small smile.

She doesn't take her eyes off of him, but Clarke can sense someone else is in the tent with them. She wants to search them out, but she can't physically feel anything to move. Her body is tired and close to shutting down. She misses part of the conversation between Josephine and Gabriel until another voice speaks up.

"We get Clarke back," Bellamy urges, the lowness of his voice pulling her closer to the front of her mind. Josephine turns to look up at him. His face is pale and his hair has flopped down onto his forehead. He looks about as good as Clarke feels right now.

"She was right to depend on you," Josephine smiles smugly, thinking of the drawings in Clarke's mind space, and then adds, "Believe it or not, we're actually friends."

Clarke can hear the skepticism in Bellamy's voice and Gabriel's confusion, but she can't make out the words as her body shakes violently.

While her body rests, Josephine and Gabriel continue to make eyes at each other as Josephine tries to convince him to let her live. As she talks, Clarke can feel the hairs on her arm stick up as Bellamy moves closer to her side. The thought of him being so close warms the frost around her trapped mind.

"We can grow old together," Clarke's voice whispers as Josephine pleads. Sweat is beginning to form on her brow now.

"I...I've loved you for centuries. We had our time. I have to let you go now," Gabriel tells her. The emotions rolling off of him lands heavily on everyone in the room. Clarke can still see the memories of their time together that Josephine showed her. She can't imagine a love like that; a love that transcends lifetimes. It seems impossible in the small dark corner of her mind.

And then the hazy light shining through her eyes goes completely pitch black as Gabriel stops her heart. She imagines blinking her eyes to wake herself up, and then there's a blinding white light. Her vision clears and she finds herself back on the Ark in her mind space. She holds her breath and watches Josephine's mind space crumble as Gabriel removes the mind drive in the real world.

"Wait. Why am I still here?" her voice echoes along the empty metal hall. Her mind space only belongs to her now...

"Because I'm still here."

Clarke spins around to see Josephine stepping from around the corner, her boots stomp loudly.

"I used the surgical mesh. I'm sorry about the whole working together thing, but I know you, Clarke. If you came back, you'd kill everyone inside Sanctum. It's what you do," Josephine explains. Clarke's hand flies up instinctively as a flash of Josephine's red jacket comes up swinging an ax at her that she has picked up in her memories.

"I can do better!" Clarke shouts, grabbing the ax with both hands to twist it out of Josephine's. "We can do better...for Sanctum!"

They struggle for a moment until Clarke overpowers her. She throws down the ax letting it clatter to the floor. Josephine's hands shake with rage now, but all Clarke feels is calm. She steps in front of the ax blocking it from Josephine's view.

"We have to be better for our people," she says and holds up her hands in surrender. Above her body, Bellamy begins to use his head to restart her heart, but Clarke can't feel the effects of it yet.

She stares at Josephine as the other woman assesses the situation. Both their minds are defenseless. Both their hands are soaked with blood. Clarke can't promise she won't pull the lever again when she wakes up and she doesn't expect Josephine to be less of a sociopath, either...but together? Together they could save Sanctum.

"We both can't survive in here," Josephine says, stepping closer to the ax, and then continues, "Do you think Bellamy will save you?"

It sounds like a taunt, uncertainty hangs around her from all sides, but Clarke can feel the rise and fall of her chest now.

"Bellamy won't let me go," Clarke says with confidence. She straightens her back and narrows her eyes to stare down Josephine. "I'm not going to give up either. I want to do better. Do you?"

Before Josephine can give her an answer, Bellamy's voice echoes through their shared mind space, the air rushes into her lungs and her heart sputters to life, finally pulling Clarke out of her head.

"You're okay. Just breathe. Just breathe," Bellamy says. His voice is no longer muffled and her eyes, though blurry, don't feel as if she's looking at him from behind a glass. Her body still feels heavy and unstable, though, so she sits up slowly. He reaches out tentatively for her arms.

"Clarke?"

Bellamy looks at her, searching her eyes for some kind of clue and it feels like everyone in the room is holding their breath. She reaches out for him and wraps her arms around him burying her face into the crook of his neck. His warmth spreads over her tired body and she sighs with relief.

"The head and the heart," she whispers in awe. Bellamy saved her. Again. His body relaxes a fraction of an inch at her words.

The monitor then beeps loudly alerting them all to the screen and two sets of wavelengths begin anew.

"What? I don't understand," Gabriel speaks up first and walks over to Clarke. She pulls away from Bellamy and looks up at him when she speaks.

"She was still in my head. In the neural mesh," Clarke explains slowly. She checks for any sign of Josephine in her mind now, but she can't sort through the pain. There's a pounding in her head and an ache in the back of her neck.

"But the brain can't support two minds," Gabriel repeats mutely. He brushes a lock of Clarke's hair away from her face and stares into her eyes, searching like Bellamy, for the one he cares about.

A ripple of pressure in Clarke's head causes her to cry out, squeezing her eyes shut, and doubling over in pain. Bellamy and Gabriel both rushes towards her to keep her upright. The room spins.

"You're bleeding," Bellamy tells her. She can feel a warm trickle of black blood running down from her nose. Her hand feels too heavy to lift up to wipe it away. When she doesn't move, Bellamy pulls his shirt sleeve down and wipes it for her.

Somewhere, the heart monitor attached to her chest starts beeping erratically so they all scramble to keep Clarke upright on the table, and then she blacks out for the second time in Gabriel's tent.

Unlike when Josephine and Clarke shared the mind space before, Clarke is more aware of her body and her surroundings this time. She can feel three pairs of hands laying her back down on the table. She can hear their worried voices deciding on what to do.

"What do we do? What's wrong with her?" Octavia speaks up first. She's standing behind Bellamy, too afraid to get any closer to Clarke's body, since her brother had pushed her away before.

"We have to get Josephine out now," Gabriel's voice is next.

"There's nothing of her to remove! Clarke can't handle any kind of surgery now! Would you even know what to do?" Bellamy's voice is full of desperation and panic. He hasn't let go of her hand since she passed out.

"She needs time to heal!"

Gabriel and Octavia lock eyes when Bellamy shouts his last sentence. Octavia rushes to Gabriel's side and whispers to him, "Would it work? Could it save them both?"

The question is spoken too softly for Bellamy to hear, but Clarke catches it. She has no idea what they're talking about. From what she had experienced, Sanctum was a wild world with far too many secrets. Was there something that could be done to save her?

"We'd have to take her back through the forest. As close to the Anomaly as we can get. It didn't heal you completely…" Gabriel trails off and looks down at Clarke's body. His eyes are bloodshot and panic-stricken like Bellamy's.

"That was a temporal flare causing me to age. Her brain just needs time to heal so they can adjust!"

"What are you talking about?"

Octavia leans closer over the table and begins to explain to Bellamy what happened to her in the forest with Diyoza and Gabriel. The tree sap from the petrified forest is only a few clicks away.

"The journey there and back won't be safe for us all. The Verge reveals your biggest fear or your deepest desire," Gabriel says. He moves around the room collecting supplies and places a vial up to his sleeve. "I know the way. I'll take them there by myself."

"Like hell you are," Bellamy disagrees. He starts pulling Clarke up from the table, wrapping her arms around his neck, and helping her up to stand. "We can both carry her."

"I'll keep a lookout for the Cog or the Sanctum guards," Octavia declares, holding back the flap of the tent for the trio to leave. Bellamy nods at his sister. He knows she can fend for herself and she knows this is what her brother has to do.

Gabriel takes Clarke's right arm and guides it over his head. The two men prop Clarke up between them and her head lolls to the side. The black blood from her nose has dried, but her eyes remain shut. Bellamy and Gabriel exchange worried looks.

Not wasting any more time, they guide her out of the tent towards the forest and are immediately met with the loud buzzing sounds of the radios Gabriel has posted up around his tent. Energy crackles under their feet with every step towards the Anomaly.

"What is that?" Bellamy calls over the noise.

"The Anomaly? The great mystery of Sanctum. Your sister went in there. She doesn't remember anything. But she's special, Bellamy."

Gabriel holds Bellamy's stare until the other man looks away.

"She's not my responsibility anymore."

If Clarke was fully conscious, she would squeeze Bellamy's hand in reassurance to let him know he was doing the best he could. He had carried the weight of his sister's existence on his shoulders for long enough. And Octavia now appeared to be ready to reconcile with the choices she had made in her life.

As they approach the depths of the forest, it's time for them all to face their demons.

"Keep your eyes straight ahead. Anything you see in these woods is meant to trick you. It will try to test you," Gabriel stops and picks up Clarke. He hoists her effortless over his shoulder and Bellamy cradles her head from behind him.

"There's no eclipse happening," Bellamy states. The suns are starting to descend in the distance, falling under the trees, and casting the sky in a soft orange glow.

"The Red Sun toxin is everywhere. In the trees, in every leaf, the soil, and the rocks. It'll make you see things. See the things that you want. See things that you never want to see again…"

Gabriel's voice goes quiet as the thicket grows thicker. The tangled roots are wild on the forest floor. Vines hang down with red flowers attached to them. The insects chirp, matching the buzzing near the Anomaly. Gabriel and Bellamy's footfalls are sure as they carry Clarke's body. In her half-there state, she doesn't notice the shift in her escorts' states when the toxins hit.

All of a sudden, Gabriel clutches onto Clarke's legs tightly, like he's bracing himself for her to slip away from his grasp. Bellamy let's go of her head, his hand hangs mid-air as he stumbles behind Gabriel, and his eyes darken. The only thing pushing them forward, Clarke can gather, is her. And their need to save her.

They finally make it through the worst part of the toxins and come to halt at the dead forest. They can see the suns beginning to set. The trees have all been fossilized. The green tops are completely gone, only leaving behind the blackened trunks, no taller than Bellamy or Gabriel.

Gabriel passes Clarke off to Bellamy so he can collect the miracle sap quickly. Bellamy guides her down to the ground and pulls her up against his chest. He checks her nose for breathing. Touches her chest to check for the steady heartbeat he worked so hard to rejuvenate. Her body flinches at his protectiveness, bruised and crushed from the damage her body had endured the last few hours. Bellamy responds by placing feather-like touches down her arm and soothes her with shushing noises. Clarke's never known him to be so gentle before.

"In the Verge," Gabriel says sitting down beside Bellamy. He pours the red sap onto Clarke's wounds before he speaks again. "I saw her...Josephine. I thought that was the end. Time and time again, I've watched her die. I thought this was the final one."

Bellamy doesn't speak for a moment but swallows thickly. Clarke, too, had died many times for Bellamy. He had lost her, failed her, and mourned her many times over. He would be terrified to lose her, too.

"But she's alive," Bellamy finally responds. "She's alive and we get another chance. There are so many things I should have done. So many things I should have said. And now she's alive again."

Clarke's fingers twitch, she wants to reach out to Bellamy, and ask him what he means. What would he have said to her? What would he have done?

"It's funny how your deepest fears can be your deepest desires, too," the words fall from Clarke's lips, but it's not Clarke who speaks them. The voice is airy and lighter than Clarke's normal cadence.

"Josephine?" Clarke asks aloud. Her throat feels scratchy, but her voice works. Everything comes rushing forward as her body heals and her mind snaps back into focus.

"Ah, just in time for a Sanctum sunset, my love," Josephine croons towards Gabriel. The hand Clarke wanted to use to comfort Bellamy, reaches out for Gabriel's arm instead. Her body pulls away from where she was sitting between Bellamy's legs.

"Jo—," Gabriel's voice breaks as he reaches for her face, tears sting the corner of his eyes. He cradles Clarke's head between his large brown hands. He's soft and gentle, holding her as if she might dissolve into smoke.

"How the hell is this possible?" Bellamy's voice is loud in her ear, right behind her. Clarke pulls away easily from the other man to look back at him.

"I don't know what's happening," Clarke whispers, an edge of confusion on her lips. Then they pull back into a smile just as Josephine goes to speak.

"We're back, bitches!" she cheers and throws Clarke's head back to look up at the evening sky. The planet, Alpha, sits to their east, leaving the sky above them empty, except for the flossy clouds and the changing colors of the atmosphere. The first sun as already slipped under the horizon.

Clarke knows it's almost civil twilight, and she knows exactly what that means and exactly how it's going to look in a few seconds. When the first sun is 6° below the horizon and the second sun rests fully above it, the sky changes drastically. Her body thrums with anticipation, eyes wide, and breath held.

"Are you okay, Clarke?" Bellamy asks, concern written all over his features. He can't shake himself from the confusion of the Verge and now the sudden merge of Clarke and Josephine. His eyebrows are drawn together, forming a slight scowl, but his eyes are still dark with...something.

"Want," Josephine supplies for her out loud. Clarke's cheeks redden and she looks between the two men. Gabriel clutches onto one hand like a lifeline and Bellamy barely grazes her other, letting his pinky rest beside her thigh.

"I'm okay. Josephine's not just in my head anymore, but a part of me now?" Clarke tries to explain ignoring Bellamy's eyes. Her head nods and she feels Josephine agreeing with her.

"Whatever memories of mine we didn't toss out the airlock, they're still there, but I know your memories too. I know how you think and why you think it," Josephine adds. Her hand disentangles from Gabriel's and she stands up. The red sap has completely healed her body, so she feels great. Whole.

Gabriel chases after her, scrambling to stand as well. Not wanting to let her out of his sight, not wanting to let her go. His voice is low, but urgent when he speaks.

"I thought if I finally let you go, I could be at peace. But you're alive and I could have lost you forever. I'm so sorry. Whatever time we have to be together now, whether it's until the suns set or eternity, I will love you."

"Hey, old man," Josephine says, overcome with emotions, she pulls him close to her and kisses him. They trade forgiveness back and forth with their tongues. It tastes like pine and mint. Clarke is unfamiliar with the movements, but Josephine drags her along. It doesn't feel unwanted, though. Clarke can feel the love Josephine has for him. Feels it and shares it, too. It feels like empathy, but much stronger. It's like riding the same wavelength but on two different frequencies.

Bellamy clears his throat. They're all breathless when they finally pull apart. Clarke wants to look sheepish about what just happened, but it doesn't quite come to the surface of her features. And she's still being met with that face of his that she doesn't understand.

"She is pretty important to you, huh?" Josephine says twirling her finger around a blonde lock of hair by Clarke's face.

"She is," Bellamy concedes. His Adam's apple bobs and Clarke has a thought that he's nervous. She quirks a brow up at him in question and he stuffs his hands in his pockets giving her a tight smile.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke."

"Bellamy, you saved me."

"I didn't protect you in the first place. This wouldn't have happened if I had."

"But it's okay now."

"I thought you were dead...again." There's anguish in his voice that sets her back. They had been through so much together. They had been through so much apart. But they never saw the other as clearly as they did now.

With the help of Josephine, filtering her thoughts with what she knows and what Josephine had seen, their hand goes up to touch the stubble on Bellamy's chin. The fingertips warm over his soft skin and the brown bristles under his lips scratch the pad of Clarke's thumb. In response, Bellamy places his hand on the base of her head, under her hair, with the lightest of touches.

Their eyes meet and Bellamy licks his lips. Clarke reaches up on her tiptoes, being drawn to him by an unknown force. It's heavy. Not magnetic, but cosmic. Like nothing in the world could deter them from the axis they spun on. If Clarke and Josephine where two minds in one body, Bellamy and Clarke were one soul in two bodies.

But instead of leaning down farther, Bellamy rests his head on Clarke's forehead. Josephine is disappointed, but Clarke understands. They can't. Not yet. Not until they're back in Sanctum. Not until all the words that need to be said have finally been spoken.

"This might be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to us," Bellamy jokes and laughter bubbles up in her. She was afraid he wouldn't be able to accept her new reality.

"Weirder than Grounder cults, Cannibals for family, and traveling across the galaxy during a cryo-nap?"

"You're right. This is nothing," Bellamy murmurs into her hair and kisses the top of her head. He doesn't move but inhales deeply, memorizing the moment. In their short lives on the Ark, on Earth, and in Sanctum, they never seemed to have a moment to just be.

Gabriel and Josephine were more than happy to show them how to do more than just survive. Josephine slips her hand into Bellamy's.

"You two might want to watch this," Josephine sighs, speaking to both Clarke and Bellamy. And Clarke knows it. Like she knows what is about to happen. Josephine's memories recalling the past to show her the upcoming night sky. The orange fading to something new.

It's effortless for them both. To move. To think. To speak. She feels connected to Josephine but separate. Clarke can feel her heart beating. Josephine can feel the air swirling around them. They are their own entities. Both themselves, but not themselves. Independent of one another, but united just the same. A hollow dichotomy in one body.

Clarke's eyes see the same sky, the way Josephine does when the second sun settles right above the horizon. At twilight, the heavens split right down the middle into rich blues and purples. The colors never mix, letting the clouds tumble back and forth between the two, and holding the stars in their hues equally. The stars twinkle brightly. The brightest they will ever shine on this night.

"It's beautiful," Bellamy says in a hushed tone beside her. Gabriel has returned to her other side, too. Josephine reaches out to clutch both their hands in Clarke's. Everything is quiet. Peaceful.

"Sanctum will be a battlefield," Bellamy eventually breaks the silence. He sniffs and shifts his weight. An uneasy feeling passes over all of them. "Too much blood for the Primes has been sacrificed here."

"We have to do better, Bellamy," Clarke encourages him. The plan was to return with Josephine's mind drive, to bargain for their people, but now Josephine lives free from the artificial prison. The Primes can't cast out Clarke without casting out Josephine.

"Daddy will bow out when he sees I'm alive," Josephine says naively.

"Your father will sacrifice the greater good before he lets his throne crumble, Josie."

Gabriel's words ring true, and they all hate to admit it. Hundreds of years of devotion and immortality will be hard to break in a single night. The fight might have left the trio here now, but Russel Lightbourne's stakes are higher than their love returned and love discovered.

"So we stop him. We tell people the truth."

"And start a revolution?" Clarke asks them.

"We can bring them together. Gabriel has his Children. Josephine has Sanctum. And we have our people, Clarke. Empires have fallen overnight, you know?"

"Together?" Clarke questions tentatively.

"Together," three voices ring out in answer.

The final sun descends under the line where the sky meets the Sanctum soil, the purple and blue blurs into a deep violet until it's black. It leaves only the twinkling stars above, for the three bodies pressed tightly together, to watch from down below.


End file.
